Hypnosis for Male Sexual Issues
Hypnosis for Male Sexual Issues
Can Hypnotherapy be used for the treatment of Erectile Dysfunction and Premature Ejaculation?
The answer is yes! Sexual performance problems, or Erectile Dysfunction for men is a far more common problem than you might think. First, we will cover Erectile Dysfunction. Using hypnosis, we are accessing the subconscious mind which communicates with the autonomic nervous system. The autonomic nervous system is in charge of regulating all of the systems of the body. This includes the reproductive system. We don’t have to think about our heart beating to make it beat or think about our stomach digesting food in order for it to happen. This is true for the function of our sexual organs as well.
When a person has a physical problem with something under the control of the autonomic nervous system, there are different ways to affect change. One way would be to use medication which essentially changes brain and body chemistry forcing a change. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t. Another way to affect change is by giving instructions to the subconscious mind which controls thoughts and behaviors and is in constant communication with the autonomic nervous system.
Who is most likely to have ED?
There is really no age limit when it comes to E.D. or other sexual issues, though generally speaking, it is more common for for men over 40, and men with medical issues to experience ED. Older men are more likely to have health conditions that require medication, which can interfere with normal sexual function. Additionally, as men age, they may need more stimulation to get an erection and more time in between erections.
There are many physical conditions which can lead to or cause Erectile Dysfunction. It is important to see a physician for this because while ED is not life threatening, conditions like Hypertension which lead to the symptom of ED are.
How can you tell if the problem is psychological?
As a Hypnotherapist, I have treated countless men of varying ages experiencing ED. We always discuss the possibility of a health problem being the cause. If health problems have been ruled out, or if the health problem is being treated and the E.D. issue is still there, we can use Hypnotherapy to treat it. For some men, they are perfectly healthy and Erectile Dysfunction is only a psychological problem. Some questions to ask yourself are:
- “Why can I get and maintain an erection in certain circumstances like self-stimulation, but not with a partner?”
- “When I am with a partner, why do I get an erection but then lose it while having sex?”
- “When I am with a partner, why do I lose my erection when changing sex positions?”
- “Why is it so hard to not worry about how sex is going to go and whether or not I will be able to get and maintain an erection?”
- “I don’t understand why this happens, I’m very attracted to my partner, why can’t I get or keep my erection?”
“Why can I get and maintain an erection in certain circumstances like self-stimulation/masturbation, but not with a partner?”
Every person is unique and obviously has different lifestyles, background and experience and may have different answers to all of the above questions. One of the common answers to the first question about being able to get an erection for the purpose of masturbation is that there is never any pressure to please anyone else in that situation.
This makes complete sense because sexual performance anxiety is no different than any other kind of performance anxiety. If you asked a professional baseball player if they felt more anxious playing a friendly game of baseball with friends or a world series game, it would be obvious that the world series game is going to cause the player a tremendous amount of performance anxiety because the stakes are much higher compared to playing with friends with no concern over the outcome.
While there is no perfect comparison to use when it comes to sex, this one fits fairly well for men because they care a lot about how they appear to others. Athletic ability and sex are similar because your skill and ability or how well you play makes you a desirable teammate or lover depending on what we are talking about.
“When I am with a partner, why do I get an erection but then lose it while having sex?”
The question of being able to get an erection but then losing it during a sexual encounter is about your thoughts. Chemistry is happening in the brain with every thought we think. If a man has had a negative sexual experience such as not being able to get an erection or losing their erection for whatever reason, even just once, and they begin to think about it, it can cause the brain chemistry to change quickly causing them to lose their erection. If a thought can cause an erection, it can also take one away.
Think back to your teenage years and how easy it was to get an erection. All it took was visual stimulus, like seeing a girl you liked or seeing a picture of a naked woman or simply fantasizing about sex. This extends to all of our senses. In our youth, we are not so worried about sexual performance. It is a new and exiting thing and we are just learning about sexuality and how it all works. The problem is that as we age and have long term relationships, we get used to sex. Sometimes it gets mundane. Sometimes there are problems in the relationship that cause anxiety. Anxiety in general can cause a man of any age to have E.D.
“When I am with a partner, why do I lose my erection when changing sex positions?”
What is happening when there is no problem getting the erection and maintaining it well until changing sex positions? When everything is going well, that brief stopping and starting that happens when changing positions gives just enough time to think thoughts that can cause the loss of the erection and it is usually due to thinking about a past experience when you lost your erection.
“Why is it so hard to not worry about how sex is going to go and whether or not I will be able to get and maintain an erection?”
Men often ask me why is it so difficult to not worry about getting or maintaining an erection when they know that there is nothing physically wrong with them and they’ve had sex so many times without this problem. The answer is fairly simple, it’s that sex is very important to people. It is one of the strongest drives we have. We are hardwired to want sex. It is also very important in healthy intimate relationships.
When using hypnosis to change the pattern of worry around sex and ED, we talk about the fact that you can’t not think about something by trying not to think about it. What needs to happen is a replacement of thought. In the hypnosis session those replacement thoughts would be introduced so that when the time comes, the old pattern of worrying about getting and maintaining an erection has changed to a far more confident pattern of thought that really has nothing to do with getting and maintaining an erection. Sounds strange right? But when you can take your attention off of the thing that you are worried about and focus on something else, your subconscious mind can take care of the natural response your body has to sexual stimulation.
The “something else” to focus on is your partner. Reflecting back on your early experiences with sex, your senses took over. Sight, sound, smell, taste, touch. This is extremely important because this is where your autonomic nervous system gets its information. If you are focused on your performance or erection, that means you are not letting your senses take over. Your senses will give you the erection if you let them. In hypnotherapy for ED, you are given the instructions for how to allow yourself to go back to the most natural way your body and brain work.
“I don’t understand why this happens, I’m very attracted to my partner, why can’t I get or keep my erection?”
This can happen because the stakes are higher. Being in an intimate relationship can feel surprisingly vulnerable when you begin to care deeply about what the other person thinks of you. Sometimes thinking too much about performance and worrying about it is enough to cause erection problems.
Can stress cause Erectile Dysfunction?
It is important to understand that when a person experiences illness or dysfunction and there is no medical cause or diagnosis, it is usually connected to the level of stress and anxiety a person is dealing with in their daily life.
The male reproductive system is influenced by the nervous system. The parasympathetic part of the nervous system causes relaxation whereas the sympathetic nervous system causes arousal. In men, the autonomic nervous system produces testosterone and activates the sympathetic nervous system, which creates arousal.
Stress causes the body to release the hormone cortisol, which is produced by the adrenal glands. Cortisol is important to blood pressure regulation and the normal functioning of several body systems, including cardiovascular, circulatory and male reproduction. Excess amounts of cortisol can affect the normal biochemical functioning of the male reproductive system. Chronic stress, ongoing stress over an extended period of time, can affect testosterone production, resulting in a decline in sex drive and can even cause erectile dysfunction.
Hypnotherapy and Premature Ejaculation
“What Causes Premature Ejaculation?”
The Mayo Clinic reports that premature ejaculation occurs when a man ejaculates sooner during sexual intercourse than he or his partner would like. Premature ejaculation is a common sexual complaint. Estimates vary, but as many as 1 out of 3 men say they experience this problem at some time. You might be diagnosed with premature ejaculation if you:
- Always or nearly always ejaculate within one minute of penetration
- Are unable to delay ejaculation during intercourse all or nearly all of the time
- Feel distressed and frustrated, and tend to avoid sexual intimacy as a result
Both psychological and biological factors can play a role in premature ejaculation. Although many men feel embarrassed talking about it, premature ejaculation is a common and treatable condition.
How do I know if Hypnotherapy could help?
It is important when using hypnotherapy to discuss sensitive topics around your sexual history. It is helpful for the therapist to know if you suffered any childhood sexual abuse. Many issues we acquire as adults come from problems in those very important developmental years.
For a man who was sexually abused as a boy, there can be a lot of shame and guilt around sex making PE a way to have the sexual experience over with more quickly. This is a feature of the subconscious mind and the autonomic nervous system. The subconscious mind is always looking for ways to protect you as well as seeking pleasure and comfort. It can get very confusing in the case of sexual abuse because sex often feels good to the victim, however they recognize that it is inappropriate and feel immense shame about it. This can unfortunately cause for some men, a lifetime of sexual problems.
However, sometimes PE can simply be a result of masturbation. If an adolescent boy has very little time or privacy for masturbation, or they feel shame around the act, they tend to be focused on reaching orgasm as quickly as possible. This is essentially conditioning the body and brain in the same way we get conditioned to any habit or pattern of behavior. The good news is that the pattern can be unconditioned.
Several factors may cause premature ejaculation, such as genetics, heightened nerve sensitivity, and disturbances in nerve transmission. In people who developed PE later in life, the difficulty may be a result of a number of psychological issues such as stress, depression, and sexual performance anxiety.
“How common is PE?”
Premature ejaculation, or PE, as it is most often referred to, is one of the most common types of sexual problems that men may suffer. In fact, between 30 and 50% of men will suffer at least one episode of PE at some point in their life. This can increase significantly if alcohol and drugs are used regularly.
“How can Hypnotherapy help with PE?”
There are a number of techniques the hypnotherapist can use to help the client with PE. For instance, penile hypersensitivity can be assisted greatly with the “dial method” or I like to call it, “the control room.” This is the use of visualization and imagery to imagine going inside the control room of their mind to make adjustments. The hypnotherapist first uses a progressive relaxation technique to help the client relax until they are in the “Alpha” brainwave state. This is the perfect state for using visualization. The subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. This is very useful in helping a person feel in control of their body and the way it functions.
If the problem or dysfunction seems to be more centered around previous trauma (such as abuse), or stress and anxiety, then there are several methods within Hypnotherapy that can help. Simply reducing stress and learning of ways to maintain well-being can be huge in solving the problems of ED and PE.
“What are some things I can do on my own to help?”
Exercise is a huge benefit for any sexual issue. Finding a physical activity like going to the gym and working out with weights or running, or a team sport that you enjoy, anything that gets your heart rate up and is fun helps to build confidence and balance brain chemistry.
Meditation is also in my opinion one of the best medicines available. Practicing meditation daily can do amazing things for you. It can lower your blood pressure and change brain chemistry for the better. There are so many benefits to meditation, but that is a whole separate article. Just know that meditation can help any and all physical conditions including ED and PE.
When it comes to men’s sexual issues, whether it’s ED or PE or anything else, there are many treatment options available. It is important to find a treatment that you feel comfortable with.